1,2,3 to a Positive me

Hello!

So the last post I did on here was at the end of Summer and here we are again in Autumn and how quickly its flown! Since my last post I have of course gone back to training at Italia Conti for what has been a very busy first half of term. Going back into college undoubtedly brought on a lot of mixed emotions, excitement, nerves and of course anxiety. As some of you will know I suffer a lot with my anxiety and battling the nerves and emotions that come with it is a daily task for me. In this post I am going to show a few thinks I do to help keep on top of my anxiety and help myself to feel more positive.

1. Preparation and organisation.
For me, one of the biggest things to stress me out is the feeling of being unorganised and going into something without some sort of plan of action. So this year I decided over summer to get properly organised and ready myself for my first day back. One of the first things I did was got myself to town and went around all the stationary shops picking up some things I felt I would need/that would come in handy. The first thing I picked up was a small A5 term time diary, I'd never really used a diary properly before but seeing as the new term would bring a lot of new events, shows, auditions and important days I felt this would really help me to keep on top of my schedule. These diaries are really handy little things to keep in your handbag and I picked mine up from a little shop called the works for just £1, It's a really simple matte black cover with silver metallic writing and I really liked this one as it also came with pages for notes, numbers, addresses and other useful information. Another handy little thing I picked up from the same shop was this really cute little A5 lined notebook- again a good size to keep in your handbag. I originally got this to use as my notebook for college, however I decided it would actually be a really good little book to use for blog ideas, recipes and other little notes. It's so pretty to keep on a side as decoration and for only £2 It's a great little find.

2. Having time to relax

This is one thing I've never really been very good at, as I often find myself feeling like I should be doing something all the time, however, I do feel it's really important to give yourself time to sit back and empty your mind a little bit and although it can be hard to fiat in, it can really rejuvenate you and taking the time out just once a week can be really beneficial. For me I like to give myself a good pamper session and find the best time to do this is the weekend, either  in the morning before going out shopping or a night out, or as a chilled evening in. This usually involves a long bubble bath with candles and wine (cheeky) followed by a face mask and mani/pedi while snuggled in a big fluffy dressing gown/ onezie with a good film on or some chilled out music-usually Ben Howard. There are of course many other ways to chill out and relax and everyone has there own personal favourite was of doing it. Whichever way you choose to do so, I strongly recommend giving yourself the time for it as it can really detox your mind and make you feel a lot more positive.

3. Saying "I can"

One of the most important factors of being more positive is of course having a positive mind and although especially with anxiety that can be a hard thing to always remember to do, teaching yourself to do so can really help you to take a step forward in beating anxiety or just simply making you a happier person. Saying "I can" doesn't just mean literally either, for example if you're going out with friends or you have an appointment at the doctors or something (which is something that tends to always set me off) just taking the time when getting ready to tell your self its ok and that there is nothing to fear can settle/fight that immediate flight and fear response, I find that pushing these negative thoughts to the back of your mind and forcing yourself out the door can be difficult but when you look back on it will make you feel a lot more positive and like you're getting more on top of your anxiety.

So that's it for this post, I hope you enjoyed reading this and would love to hear if any of these methods have helped you in the past or if you have any of your own. I sometimes feel that little things like that can do a lot when it comes to anxiety and even though it's not going to get rid of it, it can work along side the difficult journey of learning how to manage it.

I hope you all have a good Halloween and if you're feeling the festivities then feel free to check out the video I filmed with my best friend Chloe where we took part in some Halloweenie fun! LINK HERE

Thanks for Reading!!

♥   ♥   ♥

New years resolutions

Aloha everyone!!

I'll start off by saying I hope you all had an amazing Christmas (or if you don't celebrate Christmas I hope you had a fab holiday) and if it's not too late, happy new year to you all. Every year I contemplate making new years resolutions like to not eat chocolate, to eat healthy or to not spend so much money, but like I'm sure a lot of people will agree, these can be hard to keep and just make you feel bad when you don't do them. Instead however, this year I was inspired by Alfie of PointlessBlogs' video of his new years resolutions (if you haven't seen it, watch it here) and  this year he decided to pick some of his favourite quotes to follow for the year. I really liked this idea as I think it's always important to have wise, inspirational words to follow and they can really help make you feel good about yourself. So I go searching the internet and thought back to some other quotes I liked and here they are, my 2015 quotes:

• Do more of what makes you happy-I heard this in Alfie's video and instantly fell in love with it because as some of my older followers may know one thing I struggle with is being happy and it's definitely one thing I was to accomplish this year.
• Don't change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love the real you- I think this is very important for me personally this year as you may know I recently moved to a new flat and a new college in London, and here I have and will be meeting lot's of new people and making new friends and I always have believed that you should never change yourself for anyone and as hard as it is to always be true to who you are.
• You don't always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens- This really stood out to me as I'm quite a bad perfectionist and always feel like I need to know exactly what's happening and what is going to happen, this really gets to me a lot and I feel I need to take a step back more often and relax.
• Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain- If like me you suffer from Depression, Anxiety etc then you may know that sometimes when you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed you just want to give up everything and hide under a bid fluffy duvet forever and never come out again. I get this a lot and with the career I wan't to go into I find my self getting extra stressed and just wanting to give up everything even though deep down I know that's definitely not what I want. This quote is special to me because it's important that I never let these things get the better of me and I can learn and grow from the bad times and they'll only make me stronger.
• It's ok not to be ok- ok so I bet you can guess what song this is from and who the artist is *cheeky side smile* but as cheesy as it is this has always been one of the realest and most honest quotes for me because whether you have a diagnosis or not everyone goes through bad times and sometimes it all gets too much, but it'sperfectly normal and it's a part of life and these bad times can help form you as a person and allow you to learn and grow into a better person each day. So when you do feel down and stressed, just remember, it's ok, somewhere someone is going through the same thing as you and you can get through it.

So there you have it, my new years resolutions/quotes. obviously there are hundreds of amazing quotes about there and these are just a few of them I love and not everyone will agree with these quotes but to be they meant a lot and that's the whole point of it really, you should set things that are personal to you. Apologies if this was quite a boring post for you, be sure to let me know what you think in the comments below. 

How about you? What are your new years resolutions and favourite quotes? Let me know bellow.

                                                   ♥   ♥   ♥ 

Starting afresh

Hello!!!
Wow, what can I say. I can't believe its been like 2 years since I started this blog and if I'm going to be honest I'm disappointed at how utterly rubbish I've been at blogging. I feel the reason for this was mostly because I started this blog when I was in my main GCSE years at school, which proved to be a difficult time with exams and stressful things going on. However, now I have left school (Yipee) for many reasons I will now have more time to write posts at least weekly and keep up with my blog. So I would like to apologise again for being so rubbish but I'm going to take this as a fresh start turning over a new (autumnal) leaf. (Breathe)

New Place New Start
The most exciting news I have to tell you is something rather big and exciting that's happened very recently in my life which has changed it for the better.

As some of you may know one of my biggest passions in life is performing and since I was little one of my biggest dreams was to go to a performing arts college and I'm so happy to say that in February this year I found out I had been accepted into Italia Conti; A very well known English performing arts college, and on the 15th of September 2014 I took a very brave step for me, moving out of my small town home to a new flat in Guildford, London, with complete strangers to peruse my dreams.

At first this raised my anxieties to a whole new level, but since being there and settling in I have enjoyed every second of it and absolutely love living independently with some amazing people who in 6 weeks I have become ridiculously close with. I would like you thank my amazing family, friends and teachers for giving me so much love and support.

One of the Conti buildings

My new room

Lovely new flat mates

As I've decided to keep this blog fairly short I'm going to end it here. I've decided to routine my blogs to at least once a week and if I have more time in between- As I'm home for half term I'm hoping to put up quiet a few posts this up coming week as I have a fair few ideas in mind.

Let me know in the comments if you've had any exciting news this year or if you have any thoughts or ideas I'd love to hear from you!
                                 
                                      ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥

Thanks for reading,
Lots of love,
XOXO

Hello!

Oh my goodness, once again it's been absolutely ages since I posted anything and I apologise for being so rubbish! As usual I have been so busy and haven't had the chance to come on my blog due to holidays and shows ect, but  I'm back now and am aiming to get back up to doing regular posts!

So I'd like to start off by saying I hope you had a lovely summer, mine has been absolutely jam packed and now I'm gettinng ready to get back to my last year of school. I have had a few messages for post requests and I promise I will try to get them done asap:)

I haven't really updated you on the 'my life' recently as I don't really tend to talk about my own life haha, as you may or may not know I have had a lot of negative things happen this year and is another reason I guess I lost some motivation to blog, however I am getting back on my feet and trying to begin to feel better in myself which is a long road but with the right help and support I guess anything is possible and I'm very thankful I am surrounded by some lovely people who will support me.

Fluffies

Yes that's right, meet our new additions to the family; Simba, Blue and Tino.

Simba

Blue

Tino

The two puppies are Japanese Spitz' and they are so cute and so loving. Tino is 1 year old however he is fully grown and I love how small they are because it means I can always pick them up for cuddles!

I have no idea what breed Simba is as he is a cross between a ginger tabby and a black cat (I don't really know my cats very well aha) We have been told he looks Burmese, but who knows? haha, all I know is he's an adorable bundle of fun and I love him and the dogs to pieces.

So that's it for this post, I promise I will try to be back soon, and my next post maybe along the lines of my summer favourites or/and maybe even a summer OOTD:)

I am actually thinking of one day stating some video blogs so if anyone has any tips or ideas, please contact me, it would be much appreciated :-)

Thanks for reading!
Lots of love xo

Apologies! [Please take time to read]

Hello!

Wow, what a relief to be back! I will start off by wishing you all a very happy Easter and I hope you have spent it well (with lot's of chocolate obviously) Unfortunately I haven't been on here in what feels like ages so I'm really behind with all of my posts  which makes me very sad :( I will eventually do my OOTD which I said in my last post I would do but my camera broke then loads of stuff happened and it was all a big kerfuffle. I hope you don't all hate me for being so useless but I have had a lot on my plate recently so have been unable to find the time/ haven't been in the right state of mind to post. There are some reasons that I will explain to you in this post, however some I can't say as they are very serious and personal to me.

So here we go, where do I start?...

Here seems a good place. (This point will be very brief as it is very personal to me)As I mentioned on my goals and ambitions page, I don't have very much self confidence and I suffer from anxiety. In the last month all of the upset and lowness inside has built up a lot worse than it already was and eventually all the feelings I had bottled up inside came out to my closest friends and family. I didn't intend to tell anyone and the only reason they found out is because my teacher noticed and rung my parents and told me to  tell my best friends. However I am grateful that they are aware now as I am receiving lot's of help and am beginning to feel a lot better in myself and even though I do still feel these horrible emotions, I know that there will be someone there who will help me through it. I was really reluctant about my parents finding out in fear of them being 'disappointed in me' and 'upset with the person I've become' as at the time I felt incredibly low and didn't see why anyone would care. But since telling them I realise that it's not something that should be bottled up inside and I don't know what might have happened if I hadn't told someone. If you reading this have or know someone who has these kind of feelings or self harm, don't keep it behind closed doors, don't hide it behind a fake smile, tell someone, your friends, your parents, a teacher, a doctor, anyone you can trust. Because people do care and will help you see the end, and even if it feels like it won't get better, telling someone will get you that step closer to recovery.

"If you don't see anything beautiful, buy a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there is something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to give up"

Tia

This happened just over a week ago and again left me with no emotional/ physical strength to do anything. 

Those who know me, will know that Tia was a huge part of my life and family and loosing her was one of the worst things to happen at one of the most inconvenient times. 

On the 4th November 1999, this beautiful fluff ball was born into our world. Out off all the puppies she was my girl (well the only girl haha) and from the age of one, I instantly became attached to her so she became ours. After a few years of growing up together he beautiful mother Micia, sadly passed away. As I was only young I don't really remember this but I do remember lying next to Tia and crying into her coat. It was these moments that made us even stronger as a pair and from then on she became that missing piece in my heart. Wherever I went, I always wanted Tia there with me, we went on walks together, on holiday together and even slept next to each other. She was always the sister I never had and she will never be replaced. She was my comfort when I was sad and lonely, and was always there through thick and thin. We used to have these silly games we used to play and would roll around on the floor together like we had no troubles in the world.   We used to do this everyday up until she became ill...

Finding out there was nothing the vets could do for her was the most horrible news I have ever been told. I didn't want to believe that someone who meant so much to me was going to be taken away. I remember just collapsing to the floor in disbelief and feeling so sick I couldn't move for an hour. It was down to me to decide when it was going to be done and she was so ill, It finally hit me that she needed to be put out of her pain. Now thinking back I realise it was the right thing to do and even though she's not physically there, she will always be there in my heart and no one will ever replace her.She was a huge part of our family and gave us all so much but, sadly on the 22/03/2013 we had to say goodbye. :( Never forgotten, forever in our hearts. Sleep in peace angel xoxo