1,2,3 to a Positive me

Hello!

So the last post I did on here was at the end of Summer and here we are again in Autumn and how quickly its flown! Since my last post I have of course gone back to training at Italia Conti for what has been a very busy first half of term. Going back into college undoubtedly brought on a lot of mixed emotions, excitement, nerves and of course anxiety. As some of you will know I suffer a lot with my anxiety and battling the nerves and emotions that come with it is a daily task for me. In this post I am going to show a few thinks I do to help keep on top of my anxiety and help myself to feel more positive.

1. Preparation and organisation.
For me, one of the biggest things to stress me out is the feeling of being unorganised and going into something without some sort of plan of action. So this year I decided over summer to get properly organised and ready myself for my first day back. One of the first things I did was got myself to town and went around all the stationary shops picking up some things I felt I would need/that would come in handy. The first thing I picked up was a small A5 term time diary, I'd never really used a diary properly before but seeing as the new term would bring a lot of new events, shows, auditions and important days I felt this would really help me to keep on top of my schedule. These diaries are really handy little things to keep in your handbag and I picked mine up from a little shop called the works for just £1, It's a really simple matte black cover with silver metallic writing and I really liked this one as it also came with pages for notes, numbers, addresses and other useful information. Another handy little thing I picked up from the same shop was this really cute little A5 lined notebook- again a good size to keep in your handbag. I originally got this to use as my notebook for college, however I decided it would actually be a really good little book to use for blog ideas, recipes and other little notes. It's so pretty to keep on a side as decoration and for only £2 It's a great little find.

2. Having time to relax

This is one thing I've never really been very good at, as I often find myself feeling like I should be doing something all the time, however, I do feel it's really important to give yourself time to sit back and empty your mind a little bit and although it can be hard to fiat in, it can really rejuvenate you and taking the time out just once a week can be really beneficial. For me I like to give myself a good pamper session and find the best time to do this is the weekend, either  in the morning before going out shopping or a night out, or as a chilled evening in. This usually involves a long bubble bath with candles and wine (cheeky) followed by a face mask and mani/pedi while snuggled in a big fluffy dressing gown/ onezie with a good film on or some chilled out music-usually Ben Howard. There are of course many other ways to chill out and relax and everyone has there own personal favourite was of doing it. Whichever way you choose to do so, I strongly recommend giving yourself the time for it as it can really detox your mind and make you feel a lot more positive.

3. Saying "I can"

One of the most important factors of being more positive is of course having a positive mind and although especially with anxiety that can be a hard thing to always remember to do, teaching yourself to do so can really help you to take a step forward in beating anxiety or just simply making you a happier person. Saying "I can" doesn't just mean literally either, for example if you're going out with friends or you have an appointment at the doctors or something (which is something that tends to always set me off) just taking the time when getting ready to tell your self its ok and that there is nothing to fear can settle/fight that immediate flight and fear response, I find that pushing these negative thoughts to the back of your mind and forcing yourself out the door can be difficult but when you look back on it will make you feel a lot more positive and like you're getting more on top of your anxiety.

So that's it for this post, I hope you enjoyed reading this and would love to hear if any of these methods have helped you in the past or if you have any of your own. I sometimes feel that little things like that can do a lot when it comes to anxiety and even though it's not going to get rid of it, it can work along side the difficult journey of learning how to manage it.

I hope you all have a good Halloween and if you're feeling the festivities then feel free to check out the video I filmed with my best friend Chloe where we took part in some Halloweenie fun! LINK HERE

Thanks for Reading!!

♥   ♥   ♥

Apologies! [Please take time to read]

Hello!

Wow, what a relief to be back! I will start off by wishing you all a very happy Easter and I hope you have spent it well (with lot's of chocolate obviously) Unfortunately I haven't been on here in what feels like ages so I'm really behind with all of my posts  which makes me very sad :( I will eventually do my OOTD which I said in my last post I would do but my camera broke then loads of stuff happened and it was all a big kerfuffle. I hope you don't all hate me for being so useless but I have had a lot on my plate recently so have been unable to find the time/ haven't been in the right state of mind to post. There are some reasons that I will explain to you in this post, however some I can't say as they are very serious and personal to me.

So here we go, where do I start?...

Here seems a good place. (This point will be very brief as it is very personal to me)As I mentioned on my goals and ambitions page, I don't have very much self confidence and I suffer from anxiety. In the last month all of the upset and lowness inside has built up a lot worse than it already was and eventually all the feelings I had bottled up inside came out to my closest friends and family. I didn't intend to tell anyone and the only reason they found out is because my teacher noticed and rung my parents and told me to  tell my best friends. However I am grateful that they are aware now as I am receiving lot's of help and am beginning to feel a lot better in myself and even though I do still feel these horrible emotions, I know that there will be someone there who will help me through it. I was really reluctant about my parents finding out in fear of them being 'disappointed in me' and 'upset with the person I've become' as at the time I felt incredibly low and didn't see why anyone would care. But since telling them I realise that it's not something that should be bottled up inside and I don't know what might have happened if I hadn't told someone. If you reading this have or know someone who has these kind of feelings or self harm, don't keep it behind closed doors, don't hide it behind a fake smile, tell someone, your friends, your parents, a teacher, a doctor, anyone you can trust. Because people do care and will help you see the end, and even if it feels like it won't get better, telling someone will get you that step closer to recovery.

"If you don't see anything beautiful, buy a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there is something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to give up"

Tia

This happened just over a week ago and again left me with no emotional/ physical strength to do anything. 

Those who know me, will know that Tia was a huge part of my life and family and loosing her was one of the worst things to happen at one of the most inconvenient times. 

On the 4th November 1999, this beautiful fluff ball was born into our world. Out off all the puppies she was my girl (well the only girl haha) and from the age of one, I instantly became attached to her so she became ours. After a few years of growing up together he beautiful mother Micia, sadly passed away. As I was only young I don't really remember this but I do remember lying next to Tia and crying into her coat. It was these moments that made us even stronger as a pair and from then on she became that missing piece in my heart. Wherever I went, I always wanted Tia there with me, we went on walks together, on holiday together and even slept next to each other. She was always the sister I never had and she will never be replaced. She was my comfort when I was sad and lonely, and was always there through thick and thin. We used to have these silly games we used to play and would roll around on the floor together like we had no troubles in the world.   We used to do this everyday up until she became ill...

Finding out there was nothing the vets could do for her was the most horrible news I have ever been told. I didn't want to believe that someone who meant so much to me was going to be taken away. I remember just collapsing to the floor in disbelief and feeling so sick I couldn't move for an hour. It was down to me to decide when it was going to be done and she was so ill, It finally hit me that she needed to be put out of her pain. Now thinking back I realise it was the right thing to do and even though she's not physically there, she will always be there in my heart and no one will ever replace her.She was a huge part of our family and gave us all so much but, sadly on the 22/03/2013 we had to say goodbye. :( Never forgotten, forever in our hearts. Sleep in peace angel xoxo